Not another mommy essay… May 7, 2009

As a mother and a writer I often resent the implications that I somehow must limit my writings and thoughts to motherhood – as if I have no more valid experiences that are worthy to mention. Despite the explosion of mom lit that has occurred over these past few years (or maybe I just notice it more now that I am a mother) I am not sure that I really need to read about a mother’s sleepless nights or the struggles she may have at the dinner table. I don’t want to limit my writing to these subjects.

Yet it seems there are many pulls towards keeping some sort of mommy journal that excessively details the lives of my children. And while I don’t want to forget many moments of their lives (although there are already so many that are long gone) I also don’t believe in obsessively documenting every poopy diaper or runny nose in order to share these momentous occurences with others.

While many mommy essayists have a beautiful way of tying their personal experience into a larger, more prosaic picture of child rearing or human behavior – many writers instead seem to focus on whining about how difficulty and horribly un-stimulating motherhood is – to these I say “what exactly did you expect?”

So, while I do write about my children I want to move beyond, to deeper thoughts and connections, and experiences. I would like to write about the whole me and not only one small fraction of my already fragmented self…

Looking for a few good writers… July 16, 2008

I am feeling frustrated of late as I sit and try to find some fellow writers to connect with. I have joined some of the “mommy writer” listservs, but they are too centered on being a mommy. Yes, I already know that I am a mommy and just sitting around and dissing about the absurdities that fill my day – do absolutley nothing for my writing. I would like a little more focus on the craft, and a little less focus on the diaper changes.

The other frustrating thing about these groups are that many of them were established ages ago, and have about one million members, so that there is really no accounting, or welcoming, or acknowledging of new members. Therefore, many of the posts are centered on inside jokes, or are the tell all emails to the entire group, that I am not really sure that I need to be reading.

Anyway, I would love to be part of a community, of serious (yet fun-loving – if that isn’t too contradictory) women (mothers or not) who have a passion for writing and are searching for ways to move their writing forward. As of the moment I am still looking! However, my idea for the fall is to put a ”call to arms” (otherwise known as an advertisement) in our community paper and see if I can kick start a writing group, and see where it leads me to. I figure if you can’t join ‘em you might as well beat ‘em, or something to that effect…

Recipe for a six room poem… February 14, 2008

As a writer I am always looking for words and images that will help me see the world a little more clearly – to really be able to describe the exact shade of purple I saw in the fading of the sunset, or how the yellow bowl filled with green apples looked set in the middle of the dining room table.

I find reading anything by Georgia Heard helps me to do this (Awakening the Heart; Creatures of Earth, Sea, & Sky; For the Good of the Earth & the Sun; Writing Towards Home).  Simplistic and stripped down, her writing simply illuminates the obvious, the stuff that was sitting right in front of your nose.  Yet it also provides enough detail that things can lodge themselves in my mind – helps me to see the small things that I might otherwise have overlooked.

One of the most useful of Georgia’s exercises is the writing of the “Six Room Poem”.  I don’t use it just to write poetry, but find it particularly helpful when I am trying to create/recreate an image, set the scene, or simply trying to breathe a little more life and a little more poetry into my everyday writing.  I have also used this exercise in a classroom setting with children to help them create poems.

This is how you do it: 

• Divide a piece of paper into six squares.
• In the 1st “room” think of something that you have seen that is amazing, beautiful, interesting, or that has just stayed in your mind.  Simply describe and write down what comes to your mind.
• In the 2nd room look at the same image in the first room – but just focus on the quality of light that surrounds the image (soft/harsh/daylight/moonlight), and what colors do you associate with the image.
• 3rd room – picture the same image but this time focus on only the sounds.  Are there any voices?  What is in the background?  What kind of silence do you hear?  Lonely?  Peaceful?
• 4th room – write down any questions you have about the image.  Anything you want to know more about?
• 5th room – write down any feelings you have about this same image.  Rage? Frustration? Peace?
• 6th room – look over the five rooms and select one word, or a few words/phrase/or sentence that feels important and repeat it three times.

Finished!  Now all you need to do is spend some time looking over what you wrote.  Other ideas/feelings might arise about the image as you spend some time reflecting on the image.  Now you are ready to create your poem/paragraph/whatever you want to accomplish with the image – by rearranging and eliminating the words or sentences you have created.

 Have fun!  I will try to post one of my “images” in the next few days.